Johnny Depp

I am and always have been a fan of Johnny Depp. I had forgotten how much I like him until recently when, in two days, these three things happened:

• Some friends of ours here in town dressed their three kids in three JD characters for Halloween (Edward Scissorhands, the Mad Hatter and Jack Sparrow). It reminded me of all the great movies he's been in - and the characters he morphed into to make those movies what they are.
• While searching for a Beatles video on YouTube, a Letterman interview of JD popped up. Randomly. Its the great one where he proclaims (repeatedly) that he does not watch his own movies. That his focus is on the process and once the process of acting is over for him, what happens with the film is "none of his business."
• My Netflix account recommended to me yesterday that I add Johnny Depp movies to my que. (I did, btw. )

I admire his work ethic and how he chooses his characters...I respect how he talks about his life and his family and children. I appreciate that he doesn't live here or swim in the sewage of hollywood. And I'll admit, he's not hard to look at. He takes his work seriously and believes it to be his craft - not just a ticket to stardom. And here's one more reason to love Johnny Depp..

On October 8, 2010, Depp made an unannounced appearance at a London Primary School near where he was filming scenes for the fourth installment of the Pirates of the Caribbean film series. He turned up dressed as his character Jack Sparrow after receiving a letter from a pupil asking for his help with a class mutiny.

So here's to Jonny Depp...and Gilbert Grape, Edward Scissorhands, Cry-Baby, Officer Tom Hanson, Sam from Benny & June, William Blake, Don Juan, Raoul Duke, Ichabod Crane, Willy Wonka, Ed Wood...

If you haven't see the episode of Inside the Actors Studio with him, you can check out part 1 here. (The other rest is avail on YouTube as well).

The Night Time...

I am always hoping that Lucy will sleep all night. It's the primary focus in our night time preparations, from playtime to bath time to feeding. Our evening schedule is structured around bed...we play, we eat rice cereal, we play some more, then bath (followed immediately by at least 15 minutes of "running man"), then pj's, bottle and bed. Sometimes it's 7:30 - sometimes it's 9. Regardless - the mission is the same - to send her to dreamland as equipped as possible (bathed, new diaper, full tummy, loads of loving and hugs) to be able to sleep all night.

At this point it's hit or miss. I have learned that there is no rhyme or reason as to why she does or does not sleep all night. Just when I THINK I've learned some tricks (something soft in her hands to fall asleep holding, blanket on lower half of her body only, etc.) *BAM* she wakes up. Sometimes it's 10 pm, sometimes it's midnight...sometimes it's 3 am. And sometimes - like last night - it was not at all.

Success!!

BUT...

When she sleeps all night I wake up...in a panic. My internal clock goes off and if we haven't heard her all night my mind races about all the bad things that might have happened ranging from SIDS to being kidnapped. A bit extreme? Yes indeed. (C'mon, moms...I'm not the only one, right?)

I rush to her room to find find her a.) there. b.) breathing and c.) sawing logs. Now here's the weird part. At that moment, when I'm standing at her side trying to make my eyes focus on her chest to confirm a normal breathing pattern, I wish she were awake. Because being that close to her and NOT touching her or holding her feels abnormal. Watching her sleep peacefully all night in her own bed means she CAN, in fact, live without me. It's her first independent act. Sometime I linger there...just in case she wakes, so that I can swoop in and comfort her and escort her back to sleep. So I can rescue her.

It's then that I realize how much I love the night time with Lucy. I love watching her stir, listening to her sweet coo's, hearing her breathe and sigh and feeling her reach out to touch my face or hold my shoulder and snuggle up against me. I love watching her. I love smelling her and I love the quiet peace in the middle of the night where I can just rock her and soak her up. I sometimes have to MAKE myself put her back in her crib and go back to bed. When I can't seem to make myself, she comes back to the big bed with me and we lay there whispering to each other until we both fall back asleep. It's magical. And I don't ever want it to go away.

What it boils down to, I suppose, is that we love to be needed. While we are wishing away the days for the next landmark event in their lives like crawling or walking or school or driving or college or marriage or grandkids...each of those landmarks means another notch on the ladder of self sufficiency for our kids. And while I want nothing more than for us to raise an independent, free thinking, self sufficient individual - deep down and very selfishly I don't ever want to let go of being the rescuer.

I'm sure tonight as I go to bed I'll hope again that Lucy sleeps all night. But really, it won't bother me one bit if she doesn't.

P.S. - Mom, if you're reading this. You may now say "I told you so." Love you!

Sweet Dreams Bakery...

If you follow me on facebook, I'm sure you've seen my posts about Sweet Dreams Bakery. The bakery has been a dream of our good friend, Sandra Plumb's, for many years. Last year she decided to shelve her job as a librarian (like my pun?) and go for it. We all waited in anticipation as she occasionally teased us with samples of what would come...green bread made with organic wheat flour, zucchini, carrots and love...cupcakes filled with things like carmel, fresh strawberry puree or bananas. She and her sweet husband Calvin (Doc) would surprise us at the office with a dozen of various flavors to test. She did special orders for showers and weddings, etc. over the summer to spread the word and develop a "fan base" here in NB. And what a following they have.

The bakery opened in late summer (FINALLY) and has been booming since then. It's so booming that you have to get up awfully early to get the goods. The sausage and cheese kolaches are usually the first to go, followed rapidly by the poppyseed rolls - then the ham and swiss. Joel plans the mornings that he drives to Buda around the bakery - so he has time to stop for a cup of their fantastic coffee and a poppyseed roll. I feel like a pastry hoarder when I go in there. Every day there is a new cupcake flavor that I haven't tried - so I pick one up. But then I feel bad that I don't get my favorite flavor (either "The Elvis" - which is a chocolate cupcake with banana filling, peanut butter frosting and caramelized bacon on top - or the "Peachy Keen" - which is a white cupcake with chunks of fresh peaches in it, topped with peach buttercream icing mixed with peaches and of course, topped with peaches) so I grab one of those. I always feel bad for eating sweets for breakfast so I rationalize that I will save the cupcakes for later and get a ham and swiss kolache for breakfast. Only NOW she's making all sorts of flavors like Mediterranean with feta cheese and olives, or Spinach and Artichoke with feta. So the only logical thing to do is try one of each - to go of course - for lunch. By this point I have enough baked goods to feed half of NB.

The upside is that the girls at the office love seeing me walk in now when they hear the crinkling of the Sweet Dreams Bakery sacks. We spread it all out in the kitchen and sample it all...

Hope if you're ever this way you'll give them a try!

Sweet Dreams Bakery

He Carries Her on His Back...

Q: How Many Times Can You Start Over?

A: As many as we want to.

In life, in love, in our careers, in our goals...in blogging. I'm learning to not give up when I feel like I've hit the end of a trail. So I'm not giving up on this blog. I think every day about it. I write myself notes to remember to blog about (fill in the blank). I have lists that consist of recipes, baby stories, Joel stories, music, work...most of which I can't decipher anymore. So I'm starting my lists over.

I'm also starting my list of "to do's" over. Things around the house and pertaining to Lucy. First on my list has been to update my blog space to reflect our new family so that all of us are in a pic. But we don't have a picture of all of us because one of us is always taking the picture (Lucy's GREAT at photography already ;-). So my first first item on my list will be to find a pic of all three...ahem...four of us (poor Dude - he really has been knocked down a few notches on the family ladder). Picnic may be my first stop.

I'll be expanding my blog a bit. I need an outlet for so many of the other things going on in my head - work, etc. So I'll be venting a lot here. I hope you can tolerate that (if there's any "yous" out there still). I promise to keep it in balance - and hope to use this outlet as a gauge for the balance in the rest of my life.

Cheers, family! Here's to starting over again, again.

Not Enough Time in the Day...

Oh. My. Goodness.

I rarely admit defeat. Okay...I NEVER admit defeat. And I won't be starting here - but holy time warp, Batman...where do the hours go???

For example, the last time I checked today it was almost 11. Now it's 3:03. I haven't showered or washed dishes or organized the diaper bag for our trip out of the house this afternoon. I haven't done a load of laundry or paid our bills or cleaned up my fake "office" that has taken over the dining room table. I haven't put together Dad's Father's day gift or swept the kitchen or even sliced the yummy loaf of bread I picked up at the grocery store to snack on. I haven't gone outside to play with Dude or cleaned up the coke that exploded in the fridge (or had my caffeine for the day, now that I think about it). I haven't trimmed my fingernails or started Lucy's baby book. I haven't even brushed my teeth. How's THAT one for you.

But Lucy has chosen today to be awake. She's not fussy - she doesn't cry. She just wiggles and kicks and coos and make me smile and laugh and want to stare at her for about four more hours.

But I do think I will cut this short to brush my teeth (and get some caffeine).

Lucy, Lucy My Gal...

We are living in bliss. Words can not describe...so I'll let the pics.

Just an ordinary weekend...

Last night Joel and I had movie & pizza night. It was pre-planned. One of the items on our short list of what we wanted to do before movies are watched in 15 minute increments over the course of three days. We also went to the grocery store to stock up on food for family, snacks for the hospital and - lets face it - just so I could get in one more trip to one of my favorite places, the grocery store.

I woke up this morning at 9. Much later than I normally do. I rolled over (slowly and much like a rotisserie chicken thanks to this belly), kissed my husband on the cheek and SLOWLY rolled the other way to start the long process of sitting up and getting out of bed. I know this all sounds dramatic and oh so labored - if you've been there, hollah. If not, don't judge ;-). When I stood up, there before me sat the baby's bassinet.

I shuffled to the bathroom (ALWAYS the first stop in the mornings) and then shuffled to the kitchen (ALWAYS the second stop in the mornings) catching a glimpse of myself in the mirror along the way, bigger than ever and thought "I might miss this belly."

I fixed my preggo breakfast of an Eggo waffle with peanut butter, a banana and a glass of 1/2 skim and 1/2 chocolate milk and plopped down in our glider where we will spend countless hours, no doubt, holding and feeding and comforting our baby girl.

Joel got up and fixed his breakfast - blueberry frosted mini wheats. I didn't even know so many cereals existed - but then, that's what happens when Joel goes to the grocery store with me. He started the washing machine for me while I sorted through one more load of receiving blankets and tiny hooded towels.

He got a phone call from my dad about hotel rooms for this week and he took it in the nursery, sitting in the rocking chair.

It's so quiet - and peaceful and calm here. But there is a VERY electric energy in the house. Everywhere are the reminders of what is to come. Calm before the storm comes to mind - but it's more than that. We are teetering on the edge of coupledom and full on family. In a matter of days there is no teetering. We will be the Schoepf family...not just the Schoepfs. It's still incredible. It's still unbelievable.

Today we are running errands, writing thank you notes, cooking dinner...tomorrow we are going to the Floathouse for a cheeseburger, maybe to the Americana Jam at Gruene Hall. Just an ordinary weekend. Let it be known it has been documented here - so that when we look back and wonder what we used to fill our time with, we'll have record.

May...be, baby...

We celebrated our 3 Year Anniversary last week. Me and my best friend, Joel Charles Schoepf, Jr. I can't believe it's been three years. I feel like we just got married. Rather than scanning the past three years as a horizontal time line, I see it more like a stack of pancakes...sweet, delicious, blueberry and buckwheat pancakes - with one occurrence no sweeter than the next - but instead adding layers to our sweet life. I love thinking about our life and all that we have had the opportunity to enjoy together...all the travel and shows and freedoms that we have had...it's been amazing. Here's to you, babe. I can't remember what life was like before you...and I don't really want to.

Speaking of sweet layers, we are ONE WEEK away from our due date! I can't believe it. All the stories that everyone tried to tell me in the beginning about how flying time comes to a screeching halt towards the end, they were true. The nursery is ready, the house is ready, Joel is home, I'm wrapping up my work...we are ready!!!! But she, however, is not. Tomorrow will be 39 weeks and the little booger is still breech. The doctor isn't worried...so I'm not (much). I'm a bit thrown, but only a little bit. I have known all along that pregnancies don't always go the way we plan them...and neither do deliveries. I keep telling myself not to rush it - not to be anxious. Animals are not given a due date...they don't live in anticipation of a day on the calendar to give birth. They keep themselves busy and occupied with their normal everyday grazing and nut collecting and dam building. I'm trying to live like that. Patience has NEVER been one of my strong points...so "trying" is saying a lot. In regard to the breechness I'm walking, swimming, drinking water, spending lots of time on my hands and knees...I'm trying all the wives tales so we'll see what happens. Whether she flips or not, we are focused on a healthy baby and remembering that just because this process does not go as planned it is not a failure. And grinning slightly at the way she is already teaching us that regardless of our planning, she has the upper hand.

Joel is home for the next month and a half. We are on cruise control. We'll keep you updated!

Soaking it all in...

It's really hard for me to go to work when Joel is off the road. I spend the mornings piddling around the house, popping in our bedroom every few minutes to hop on the bed and re-snuggle with him and looking for any excuse to...not...leave...his...side. Most of the time I try to take a day off when he's home for a short time. Sometimes work just doesn't allow it.

So lately I've been wrestling with how to balance all this when our "little human" (as Joel calls her) gets here. It goes back to that feeling of being overwhelmed. I can't imagine how to add more to our lives right now. But I know we will. And she, along with we, will grow together to figure it out.

Tonight Joel called me just as I was leaving the office. He said he was on the porch with Dude...so I raced home to join them. After we got part of our dinner prepared, we worked on the sprinkler system and chatted in our driveway with neighbor from down the street who has a one-year old. Gradually, we moved back to the porch where we sat together for the evening...intermittantly chatting, reading, tossing the Frisbee for Dude and cooking dinner on the grill. We have listened to the rhythm of the neighborhood dogs barking, the beeping of the construction going on outside the subdivision and we can hear the high school baseball game being announced from here. There are lawn mowers roaring in back yards, kids playing on trampolines and all sorts of birds chirping everywhere. I can hear it all from where I sit. And it makes me feel like part of something bigger. Although it is "noise," it's "life noise" - and I find it oddly peaceful. It's a bit of a cacophony - but a beautiful one.

And I supposed that is how we will manage in the upcoming months. It may be messy, and unorchestrated...but it will be part of something bigger. And I have no doubt, it will be beautiful.

Happy Birthday to my sweet sweet husband...

I know...this post is a couple of days late. But it's just as heartfelt. To my sweet sweet husband. I love you more than I ever ever ever thought possible. And more today than yesterday..

Happy, happy birthday, baby!

Ommmmmmmmm...

I have been saying for WEEKS that I wanted to start yoga. I have a pregnancy yoga DVD here at the house, which is fine and all, but I like interaction. I like having someone guide me by talking me through what I'm doing - especially with something as "personal" as yoga. The last class I took was on Valentines day last year with Shannon and Kim. We had no clue it was a "Valentine" class we were taking. Every pose was a couple's pose designed to do with your "partner" so there were three of us trying to look each other in the eye(s) and "feel each others love." Aside from being just a little awkward, it was a great experience - I just never made the time to go back. And I've been told that the breathing techniques and the meditation can be life savers during delivery. So after a month or so of hem-hawing around and making excuses, I finally went.

And I'm sold.

It's hard to pick my favorite part...stretching, or breathing or just doing something physical for our bodies - mine and this babe's. Shavasana (I think that is the correct term) is the end of the class...laying on your back, palms up, eyes closed...it was awesome. It felt so good (don't worry, she set me up with pillows and mats so my baby belly was supported)...mentally and physically and spiritually to just be still and quiet and at peace. At peace.

Sarah (the owner of the studio) talked to me for a long time after the class. I guess she started yoga in her third trimester of her first pregnancy...just like me :). And she has been doing it ever since. I'm as impressed with her fitness as much as anything, but what strikes me is her demeanor. She emits calmness.

Like I said, I'm sold. I can't wait to go back.

I hope you all found some quiet and peace today, too. :)

Shavasana

Be Here Now...

It seems to be a recurring phrase I'm being exposed to..."Be Here Now." I read it on a friend's blog, I heard it from a very wise loved one, I got it as advice from a family friend...It's an Oasis song, a Ray Lamontagne song...

Be here now...

I'm a planner by nature. Always have been and to some degree, always will be. I think about the future - I mean THE FUTURE. From "how will we teach her how to water ski?" to "how do we make sure we will be able to retire?" I'm talking FUUUUUTUUURE. I fret about it a lot, actually.

Be here now...

I'm ready to be here now. I'm ready to be forced into the present. Just look at yesterday...and today...beautiful. Why would I want to spend them in the abyss of what-ifs?

Be here now...

Home, Sweet Stewy Home

I played hooky yesterday so I could spend it with my husband. No agenda, no plans, no errands...just flying by the seat of our pants. It was awesome. We both took our time to get around yesterday - I went for a (LONG) walk with a good friend and then Joel and I headed to Wimberly with the intention of looking for a print Joel found a while back. We didn't find the print but we did find some other fun goodies.





It was such a great afternoon - just wondering around the little shops, not really looking for anything but looking at everything. And the weather was beautiful...perfect in fact. We got to have dinner with sweet Joyce and we were home in bed watching a movie by 8. It really was one of those days that we are cherishing right now.

Today we woke up to freezing weather and a forecast of snow. I stayed in bed as long as I could, soaking up the warmth of Joel being home - but eventually had to make my way to work. When I came home this afternoon, THIS is what I found:





...and Joel practicing guitar in our quiet, warm, stew-smelling home.

It doesn't take much, really...to show each other how much we appreciate each other. Joel does it every day. I keep thinking that these days are numbered...soon we will be passing in the hall with hands full of diapers and laundry and baby. Everyone has told us to take advantage of our time now. So we are. Anxiously awaiting...

Joseph A. Stack

Let me be very clear...I LOVE learning from my husband and I always respect and appreciate his perspective. He is phenomenal at expressing himself without judging, explaining new perspectives without pushing and listening to others. I love that about him. That's how I can learn so much from him and it's those qualities that make me so excited to watch him be a father.

But sometimes there are instances where situations are simply Rorschach tests to us: they are and will remain with each of us "how we see things." Here's an example:

Here is how Joel sees Joseph A. Stack.

Here's how I see Joseph A. Stack:

Joel reads the words. I see the picture.

Joel focuses the cause. I focus on the effect.

In this scenario, I see a building full of individuals. Not a government agency.

In reading his manifesto, I think of the family he left behind in his "new marriage," now also homeless) not the statement he tried to make about his discontent.

I think of all the people he made a choice for today - without their consent or permission. Just like he complained of our government. I can wrap my mind around his motives, but in my opinion, he is a hypocrite. In his plight for HIS rights he took away the rights of others. And isn't this his biggest complaint of what the upper class minority took away from the middle class majority - their voices and their freedoms? He talked of the bodies he would be joining - as if he believed them (and himself) to be martyrs. What do we call the rest of the wreckage?

I sympathize with the frustration he expresses, and I understand the feeling of having no say or options or control over how much the government takes from us - in reference to taxes, etc...but there are ways around all of it. There are ways to make this world a nice place to live in despite all that other stuff. There are ways to help each other, together, get through the mess that he was drowning in...maybe not a fix for the problem, but a way to get through it. We can help each other...HELP EACH OTHER. Heaven knows the family he left behind is going to need it now.

Quiet Time

In case you haven't been made aware, my sweet husband has started blogging. He is revamping his priorities and "cleaning" his mind. We don't turn on the TV like we used to (well, HE doesn't. I'm working on it). And he is reading about three books at once right now. He mentioned the other day that "he has a lot to learn." He's inspiring me. I've started blogging again - granted, his writings are about the books he's read and current issues and mine are muppet videos, but still..I have refreshed my website bookmarks, I'm searching for books and I am making plans for finishing those scrapbooks I keep talking about.

Like I said, he's inspiring me. In all of this, we are finding a happy medium compromise of our old habits with our new. I am letting him take the lead on this change for us, and I like it. I like the quiet time in the house and the time we now have for conversation rather than commercials.

Hope you're finding some quiet time in your day, too.

Full Circle

Here's how the circle goes. This blog is titled "Robin's Hood." I did not come up with that...Sean Faires did YEARS ago. I can remember sitting in our old office off Walnut talking to him on the phone about the wording he wanted to put on the Dedringers EP (this was also following our discussion about how to make the spelling of Dedringers original - I suggested a "z" at the end...Sean replied, "That is so 5 years ago." I guess he knew best!)

Today I am listening to The Happin-Ins CD that just arrived in the mail. I was listening to it when our friend Matt Briggs came it to talk shop - and of course shop talk was derailed by stories of Sean and Jonny "back in the day." I can't believe how much we have all changed. I feel like I'm watching it happen right before my eyes still..our friends, our jobs, our families...everyone is blooming. It's really beautiful.

I can also remember when Sean realized that Joel and I were actually dating...not just coincidentally sharing an interest in the lives and careers of these two. At least once a week we all had dinner at my house - me, Laura, Sean, Jonny and Joel - at the minimum. Often times there were more folks, but we were the core group. After about the third or fourth time Joel went inside for a minute and Sean looked at me with a really concerned expression..."Um...is there something going ON between ya'll?" I think I said something along the lines of "I hope so" and not much more about it was brought up...until we told them we were engaged. Sean very plainly said "Well, good. When you told us you were dating we got a little nervous. This was either gonna end good or bad...no in between. We didn't want to have to pick between the two of you so I'm really glad this worked out." And now here we are - years down the road, still connected to each other - all of us- with growing families and growing lives...

I'm glad this worked out, too, Sean. So very very glad.

Oh, Baby...

To say we've been distracted is an understatement. We have been enamored, overwhelmed, swamped, ecstatic, anxious...for six months now.

At the time I posted last, I had taken three pregnancy tests just days before. I can't believe I was so calm. I also can't believe that was exactly six months to the day ago. Six months sounds like so long...but time has really flown. And now that we are three months away (92 days give or take a few) I am wishing for those 6 months back. I LOVE being pregnant. I love how healthy I feel and how much I get to sleep and eat and having an excuse to go home early. I love listening to the heartbeat and wondering what she's going to be like. I love thinking about Joel being a daddy to this little girl and teaching her how to read and how to listen to people tell stories and how to appreciate music and all things grand. I LOVE hearing him read to her...even if it's about the political environment of Berkeley. It's such a great time right now...the calm before the storm, I know, but it's really peaceful and sweet and I cherish it every day.

I don't know what's in store for the three of us. It's scary to think about all of the unknowns, but it's not in our hands...and I believe we are okay with that. Whatever may come, we can handle. I do know that.