Monday, March 29, 2010

Soaking it all in...

It's really hard for me to go to work when Joel is off the road. I spend the mornings piddling around the house, popping in our bedroom every few minutes to hop on the bed and re-snuggle with him and looking for any excuse to...not...leave...his...side. Most of the time I try to take a day off when he's home for a short time. Sometimes work just doesn't allow it.

So lately I've been wrestling with how to balance all this when our "little human" (as Joel calls her) gets here. It goes back to that feeling of being overwhelmed. I can't imagine how to add more to our lives right now. But I know we will. And she, along with we, will grow together to figure it out.

Tonight Joel called me just as I was leaving the office. He said he was on the porch with Dude...so I raced home to join them. After we got part of our dinner prepared, we worked on the sprinkler system and chatted in our driveway with neighbor from down the street who has a one-year old. Gradually, we moved back to the porch where we sat together for the evening...intermittantly chatting, reading, tossing the Frisbee for Dude and cooking dinner on the grill. We have listened to the rhythm of the neighborhood dogs barking, the beeping of the construction going on outside the subdivision and we can hear the high school baseball game being announced from here. There are lawn mowers roaring in back yards, kids playing on trampolines and all sorts of birds chirping everywhere. I can hear it all from where I sit. And it makes me feel like part of something bigger. Although it is "noise," it's "life noise" - and I find it oddly peaceful. It's a bit of a cacophony - but a beautiful one.

And I supposed that is how we will manage in the upcoming months. It may be messy, and unorchestrated...but it will be part of something bigger. And I have no doubt, it will be beautiful.

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